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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067132">hold me closer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/funeralstrut/pseuds/funeralstrut'>funeralstrut</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Relationship, Awkward Romance, M/M, Minor Lucifer/Sandalphon (Granblue Fantasy), Rebound Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:29:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/funeralstrut/pseuds/funeralstrut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In his post-mortem of the circumstances, Sandalphon thinks that the first mistake he made was listening to the Singularity’s advice about opening up to other people.</p>
<p>The second mistake was applying that advice to the man who wears Lucifer’s form.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lucio/Sandalphon (Granblue Fantasy)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You know he was on the ship first, right?”</p><p>Sandalphon blanches. “What?”</p><p>“Lucio,” the captain says, slowly, like she's explaining things to a two-year-old and not a two thousand-year-old. “Was on the Grandcypher before you were. He’s been here the whole time you have.”</p><p>“That can’t be,” he snaps. “Did he take leave from the ship at some point—“</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“—or avoid all the common areas, or—“</p><p>“Sandalphon, you need to just accept that <em>you</em> were a shut-in for a year, and that's why you haven't met him before now.”</p><p>He opens his mouth. Swallows nothing but air and his own pride. “So I really just... never ran into him?”</p><p>Djeeta shrugs. “I guess he might have been avoiding you, but it's not like that’s hard. Isn't it the other way around though? He's been complaining to me that your cafe's never open when he stops by.”</p><p>It's not a coincidence. Thinking of someone who isn't Lucifer, wearing Lucifer's face, coming in and drinking a brew made with <em>him</em> in mind... It's unbearable. Like a damaged canvas ‘restored’ by an inexperienced apprentice, any scene with Lucio in it suffers from a corruption that cannot be cleared. His voice, his demeanour—everything is wrong. Everything about Lucio leaves Sandalphon reeling with disgust.</p><p>“... I can't stand the way he goes around pretending like there's nothing wrong. Like I'm supposed to just accept that he's—” alive. And laughing, and also carefree, the way Lucifer will never again have the chance to be.</p><p>
  <em>(And whose fault is that?)</em>
</p><p>Sandalphon soldiers on. “I can't pretend that things are normal, with him.”</p><p>That unforgivable resemblance.</p><p>“So don't,” the Singularity says, simply. She leans against the wall, searching for words. “You have questions, right? I think you have the right to ask.”</p><p>He stares. “It's not—“</p><p>“—that easy, yeah. But I think it's a step you want to take, eventually. So you might as well start today. Am I wrong?”</p><p>The captain is kind. She gives Sandalphon the courtesy of silence.</p><p>“I know he isn't the most forthcoming person,” Djeeta says. “Heck, sometimes I want to shake answers out of him with my fists, too. But hopefully you can hunt him down and get him to talk. Isn't it worth trying?”</p><hr/><p>Lucio does, in fact, walk into Sandalphon's trial cafe at the first opportunity, like a fly to honey. The doorbell announcing his arrival is nothing short of an ill omen.</p><p>“Sandy!”</p><p>
  <em>Lucifer. I hope you’re not watching, but if you are, grant me strength.</em>
</p><p>“How wonderful! To think the day I get to try coffee brewed by Sandy's own hand is finally here...”</p><p><em>Or forgive me, should I lose all dignity as supreme primarch and beat this imposter to a pulp.</em> Sandalphon forces a neutral expression. “Your order?”</p><p>Lucio walks up to the counter. And then he simply stands there. And stares. The blank contentment on his face as he gazes directly at Sandalphon is… It's. What the hell...? Is handling this another aspect of customer service he's supposed to have mastered by this point? None of the patrons at the Auguste beaches ever did <em>this.</em></p><p>“Oh dear. I wanted to come in here for so long, and yet I have no idea what I do want.”</p><p>Sandalphon clears his throat. “The menu is <em>right there.”</em></p><p>Lucio hums under his breath, oblivious to the growing line behind him. “A regular cup of this, then,” he declares at last, with unfounded confidence, with his finger over the words <em>kopi luwak.</em></p><p>Sandalphon has to wonder if he's doing all of this on purpose.</p><p>“You,” he begins.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I'll have a word with you later. In private,” he adds.</p><p>Taking orders is a blur after that (apart from dealing with Lunalu, who was next in line but had a sudden unfortunate onset of high fever); like a professional, Sandalphon serves order after order, and the satisfied smiles on the faces of his customers make him feel like this—him building a skydweller life, opening a skydweller establishment, taking payment for his coffee—isn’t such a crazy idea after all. He’d scoffed at the idea of putting a cash register in the trial cafe at first; putting a price on this… this special passion he shared with Lucifer just hadn’t settled right with him, especially on the Grandcypher, so different from the hustle and bustle of Auguste’s beaches. But when the captain hadn’t managed to change his mind, Sierokarte sat him down and showed him her point of view. <em>As long as you’re going to perform mortal labour, it’s only natural to take mortal compensation. Don’t disrespect the pride of the skydwellers who make this their living by doing this work for free.</em></p><p>He’s not sure when he’ll get used to living under these blue skies.</p><p>But as his hours wind down, and the guests peter out, the matter of Lucio becomes increasingly difficult to ignore. The routine of brewing cup after cup begins to lose its efficacy in oiling the gears of his thoughts, and like the crank of the grinder, Sandalphon’s mind slowly spins, and spins. Where can he even start, with this man who throws everything in his life into question?</p><p>Eventually, the inevitable happens, and only Lucio remains sitting in a corner. Sandalphon reaches beneath the counter, to where Eugen had stored a tiny crystal bottle: liquid therapy for the especially bad customers, he’d said, winking, although Sandalphon was privately sure he was just hiding his stock from Lamretta, who’d taken to ransacking various stashes of alcohol throughout the ship as of late. On a whim, Sandalphon downs the small, innocent-looking quantity of liquor. It’s surprisingly sweet, so he lets down his guard and consciously lets the alcohol enter the bloodstream of his manifested Primal body.</p><p>He finally musters up the energy to make his way over to Lucio’s table.</p><p>“Sandy! It is nothing less than bliss to be called out by you.”</p><p>Making things weird from the beginning. Okay. Sandalphon stumbles into the opposite seat. He tries to find the words, but the thoughts in his head only gets more muddled. It's directed at the wrong person, but there's a traitorous leap in his heart anyway.</p><p>“… Lucio.”</p><p>When it becomes clear that he can’t continue, Lucio takes it upon himself to fill the silence. “Your coffee is truly sublime. Did you know that? I may have only had this one cup, but I watched you brew every one with such tender care… This truly means so much to you, does it not?”</p><p>Sandalphon’s red eyes narrow in focus. “More than you could know.”</p><p>Lucio raises his hands disarmingly. “Of course. It’s clear that you and Lucifer shared something very special.”</p><p>A fist clenches.</p><p>“Don’t talk like you know him.”</p><p>“… I did not have that intention—“ Seeing the look on Sandalphon’s face, Lucio breaks off. “Forgive me. I merely… It can’t be a bad thing, to be so loved.”</p><p>So <em>loved</em> that Lucifer threw his life away, protecting a cocoon that would never have opened.</p><p>“I long for it, myself,” Lucio continues, voice dropping to a whisper. “There is one who is more important to me than anything else, and yet…”</p><p>“The one most important to you,” Sandalphon repeats, not quite a statement, not quite a question.</p><p>Lucio gazes into his empty cup. “I've waited for a very, very long time now. I have searched from horizon to horizon, for any possible sign.” He swirls the dregs of his coffee around, watching them settle into chaos. There is nothing to be divined from them.</p><p>The sight of Lucio adrift in his own sadness strikes an uncomfortable chord. It is the closest he has ever come to truly resembling Lucifer.</p><p>Sandalphon looks deliberately away, onto the unyielding surface of the table.</p><p>“But I suppose that is the distant past, now.” Lucio smiles, and takes Sandalphon’s hands in his own, and Sandalphon does not protest. The evening light through the window traces its way over them both; it's too warm, but it's almost peaceful, for once.</p><p>“Sandalphon,” says Lucio, rolling the syllables of his full name around on a gilded tongue. “I imagine you are curious about my person.”</p><p>The fog in Sandalphon’s head has only grown thicker. He craves nothing more than resolution. “I <em>do</em> have a lot of questions.”</p><p>There’s a dizzying twinkle in Lucio’s eyes.</p><p>“The answers you seek are long, and complicated. Will you come with me to my room?”</p><hr/><p>The next day, Sandalphon wakes up.</p><p>All things considered, that should have been the start to a good morning. It’s early enough that the gentle morning light is still tracing its way down the wall opposite the window, and the breeze is carrying the scent of Auguste's sea salt in with it.</p><p>But the moment he hears <em>his</em> voice—</p><p>"Good morning, Sandy."</p><p>—Sandalphon’s stomach drops like an island in the cataclysms, and it dawns on him that reality has twisted into something deeply, irrevocably wrong.</p><p>But Lucio is significantly less burdened as he turns to face him from the other half of the bed. Adjusting the sheets covering them both, he smiles in that guileless, innocent way that has always gripped Sandalphon's heart in ice.</p><p>"Shall I make us breakfast?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>What happened?</p>
<p>
  <em>What happened?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What the fuck happened?!</em>
</p>
<p>How would he- how would he know if something had- <em>did</em> something happen?—what the <em>fuck</em>—</p>
<p>“Sandalphon?” Lucio interrupts his thoughts. “I could head to the galley and make us some eggs, if you so desire... Or some toast?”</p>
<p>Sandalphon just <em>stares.</em></p>
<p>“I see you're still sleepy,” Lucio laughs. It's a cruelly beautiful, tinkling laughter that makes Sandalphon's brain sputter to a halt and nearly give up entirely.</p>
<p>“Toast is fine,” he manages weakly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucio leaves in an all too energetic way, almost skipping away, even, as if the sky realm hasn’t just about crumbled down all around Sandalphon’s feet. But that doesn't really matter. Nothing much matters, except for the major goddamn catastrophe that is the complete blank in Sandalphon's memory from last night. Fuck Eugen and fuck his words of wisdom. When did skydweller alcohol get so goddamn potent?</p>
<p>Lucio's steps slowly fade into the distance, so Sandalphon takes the opportunity to pull himself together. Right. He's in Lucio's room. He's unfortunately in Lucio's bed, but that might or might not be the end of everything. He has his undershirt on (a good sign) and his pants off (a bad one). He briefly debates the merits of checking the condition of his underwear, but- two thousand years of solitary jail time has at least taught Sandalphon to recognise when his brain is spiralling out. And while the Sandalphon of Pandemonium wouldn't have cared, and would even have indulged, the Sandalphon of right here, right now, is in the middle of a <em>crisis.</em> Step one to escaping this nightmare: fleeing the scene of the crime. Figuring out whatever the actual crime is can wait.</p>
<p>While Sandalphon is still frantically trying to gather his clothes together, Lucio's voice rings out from outside the room, somewhere down the hall. "Captain!"</p>
<p>"Lucio," the Singularity greets in reply, the muffled words still carrying her cheerful disposition perfectly. "I didn't expect to see you up so early.”</p>
<p>"Captain! I was just on the way—"</p>
<p><em>Don't you dare mention anything about ‘us’! </em>shouts Sandalphon mentally.</p>
<p>"—to make myself some breakfast."</p>
<p>"Ooh!" pipes up a younger voice. Sandalphon's stomach sinks like a rock at the new, chirpy tone. Lyria! "You don't usually cook! What are you making?"</p>
<p><em>Sandy,</em> comes the too-easygoing reply. <em>If you wish for this to be our intimate secret, I shall happily cooperate.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>What do you mean, intimate—</em>
</p>
<p>"Toast.. ah, but now that I say it, it sounds too simple. Perhaps I will add poached eggs, and avocados, and ham... We do still have that special butter from Valtz, correct? And the berries and cream from the Auguste farmers' market?"</p>
<p>Lyria cries out wholeheartedly in delight. "That sounds extra fancy! Is there a special occasion?"</p>
<p>"Well, you see..." Lucio starts, teasingly.</p>
<p>
  <em>Lucio!!</em>
</p>
<p>"... let's just say I woke up on the right side of the bed today."</p>
<p>
  <em>Ahaha. There is no need to worry. Our secret belongs to 'us', as you put it.</em>
</p>
<p>Sandalphon really doesn't like the sound of that.</p>
<p>"Well, it's good that I ran into you," says Djeeta. "I forgot to mention this to you yesterday, but Rackam’s worried about the condition of some of the thermal piping outside your window. Think I could stop into your room right now and take a quick look?"</p>
<p>Oh, shit.</p>
<p><em>Are you decent?</em> asks Lucio suddenly.</p>
<p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p>
<p><em>You could send the wrong message, if you act immodestly,</em> Lucio says, without a trace of irony. <em>Skydwellers are particular about these matters.</em></p>
<p>Sandalphon’s blood boils.</p>
<p><em>Just get her away from here,</em> he spits out. Where the <em>hell</em> are his pants? <em> Make up an excuse! Anything!</em></p>
<p>“My, ah,” Lucio says haltingly. “My laundry is currently drying inside, so there are clotheslines set up everywhere.”</p>
<p>“... You were doing your laundry on the deck yesterday.”</p>
<p>“That was—“ a cough interrupts “—only part of it. In truth, there is a lot of clothing I own that I would rather not hang up in public.”</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>Painful, painful silence.</p>
<p><em>Captain,</em> Sandalphon says directly to her, giving up completely. <em>Lucio's just trying to cover for me. Please don't come in. </em></p>
<p>There's an audible sigh from beyond the door.</p>
<p><em>Listen,</em> Djeeta thinks to them, exasperated. <em>You primals need to learn how skydwellers communicate. Which is: out loud.</em> “If it’s inconvenient for you, there’s no need to check the pipes right now,” she says simply, smooth as butter. “Just let me or Lyria know when the room’s free.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Lucio gets back—an obscenely large platter of food in hand, warden of a jail he doesn’t realise he’s guarding—Sandalphon is still regrettably undressed.</p>
<p>It’s time to abandon all dignity. “Where,” Sandalphon croaks out, “are my pants?”</p>
<p>“Right down here, of course,” Lucio says. He sets down the massive breakfast spread (painstakingly slowly, plate by delicate plate) before opening up a compartment under the bed that <em>could not possibly have been there before, where the fuck did that come from.</em> “I thought it best not to leave it on the floor.”</p>
<p>In the blink of an eye, Sandalphon is suited up and making a beeline for the door.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?”</p>
<p>His hand hovers over the doorknob, suddenly uncertain. He doesn’t dare to look. Lucio’s confusion is already apparent in his voice.</p>
<p>If he sees those eyes, he might just…</p>
<p>“Are you not staying?”</p>
<p>The sight of Lucio’s face roots him to the spot. When had he turned back? “Right… yeah. I was- confused.” Sandalphon forces a smile. “Breakfast sounds good.” He walks back to the bed, a prisoner to his feet dragging him back, step by painful step.</p>
<p>Pathetic.</p>
<p>Admittedly, the selection of dishes that greets him from on top of the bedspread is impressive. The toast <em>is</em> fine. It’s lightly browned, and the over-easy eggs accompanying it are a perfect accompaniment. The platter of fruit on a different plate is just as enticing; the colours of the various berries go pleasingly with each other, and their freshness seems to jump out at him.</p>
<p>There’s tea, but no coffee. It’s probably for the best. But…</p>
<p>“Sandalphon,” Lucio says, when he stops short of actually taking a bite. “Is something wrong?”</p>
<p>He doesn’t reply, but Lucio, as usual, doesn’t let that bother him.</p>
<p>“You know,” Lucio begins, filling the silence. “It’s a shame you fell asleep so quickly yesterday. Here I thought we were going to have an enjoyable night together.”</p>
<p>Wait.</p>
<p>Wait, wait, wait, wait, <em>wait.</em></p>
<p>“I didn’t- I mean, we didn’t- sleep together?”</p>
<p>Lucio chuckles, as if amused. “Well, we certainly did sleep next to each other in the same bed, but—“</p>
<p>“You know what I—“</p>
<p>“—is that really something to be so agitated about, Sandy?“</p>
<p>
  <em>“Stop being obtuse!”</em>
</p>
<p>The force of Sandalphon’s voice shatters the farce of their conversation.</p>
<p>Sandalphon finds himself surprised in the midst of his rage. It’s like an unknown dam has broken inside of him, emotions spilling over in such intensity that Sandalphon’s hoarse voice can no longer contain them. And yet even in the face of this anger, Lucio is as impassive as usual. That infuriating, unflappable expression. The maddening refusal to show even an <em>inch</em> of vulnerability, when Sandalphon is constantly on the verge of melting apart, his insecurities and flaws undoubtedly bare for all to see as he yells at an emotional wall. His core, thrumming in turmoil within his chest, may as well be on display for the world to see. Nothing has changed, two thousand years be damned.</p>
<p>“… You knew I was panicking this whole time, didn’t you.” Sandalphon clenches a fist. “All that teasing, and joking, earlier. Am I just a joke to you? Did you just want to watch me squirm?”</p>
<p>A pause. Lucio sets down his plate.</p>
<p>“Does the thought of being with me really bring you that much distress?”</p>
<p>His gaze turns severe, and suddenly Sandalphon feels like he’s withering up inside.</p>
<p>“I—“ Sandalphon's voice catches in his throat. “No... well... “</p>
<p>“Why are you so averse to the thought that we might have spent the night together? I find you attractive. And surely you must find me attractive. We both long for company—“</p>
<p><em>“It doesn't work like that!</em> You can’t just stick any two sad loners together and call it a day!“</p>
<p>“But we are not just <em>any</em> two people,” Lucio says, pressing forward. “You seem to want to deny it, but do you really not have any feelings for me? Last night, before you passed out, you were the one to undress yourself. You took that step, of your own volition. Which of us here is truly being obtuse, I wonder?”</p>
<p>The food grows cold between them. In fact, the entire room suddenly feels very, very cold.</p>
<p>“Please,” Lucio says, and at last, a hint of urgency, of desire, pushes its way into his voice, cracking it like a fragile shell. “Tell me if I am mistaken. Tell me if I have a chance.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>oh my god these two are such losers. i fucking hate them</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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